Personal Log
Noemi Laporte

Ken told me that I had to destroy the GTVA. Human survival depended on it.

I sit here in our little Falcata camp in the life support spine, where the ceiling's so high we live under thin clouds and it rains pure water. Vidaura's pretending not to watch me (hi V), Falconer and Kovacs are doing laundry, and here I am trying to peel apart the destruction of half our species.

Did he mean that human survival depends on the Federation? That we have some secret project or hidden purpose?

Did he mean that the Alliance is going to do something that will destroy humanity? Unleash the Shivans? Blow up subspace?

None of that's right. I know it's not right. Ken's been in my head so long...he must have left a shadow of what he knows...

It's something about the war. Something about the Alliance invading the Federation. Ken wants the Federation to annihilate the Alliance, total genocide, absolute devastation. Maybe he'd be just as happy with the Alliance wiping us out...maybe there's another one of me, over there in Steele's fleet, going mad.

If there are cosmic powers puppeteering human existence, then what hope do we have? How can we possibly make a difference against a power so advanced it can reach inside our skulls?

But then I remember -

Whoever's up there, out there, they have an interest in me. They have an interest in humanity's destiny. We matter somehow. Not because we're Chosen Ones, but for the same reason little people always matter to big people...

I think we're fighting someone's proxy war.